Scripture

Proverbs 18:13 (New International Version)

He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame.

Consider

It’s been said that God gave each of us two ears but only one mouth for good reason: talking + talking – listening = conflict. Just imagine how many novels would be left unwritten if on the first page the characters would just sit down and listen to each other. If there’s no conflict, there’s no story!

James 1:19 tells us we should be quick to listen but slow to speak. That’s because understanding comes only through listening and allowing ourselves to be moved by what the other person has to say. When we stop talking and truly listen, we risk learning something that may change us intellectually and emotionally:

• Intellectual risk – We may have to rethink our position or admit we were wrong; we may be persuaded to do something we do not want to do, or to give up something that we prize.
• Emotional risk – We may be forced to unblock feelings of compassion or grief or guilt; we may have to deal with anger, ours or the other person’s; we may feel the relationship shifting us into new roles and unfamiliar ways of relating to each other.

Listening is an art and a skill that’s worth cultivating. When we’re talking, we’re not listening, and we’re putting the burden of understanding on the other person. The Bible tells us to be quick to take that burden of understanding onto ourselves and slow to lay it on the other person’s shoulders.

Pray

FATHER, I confess I could do a better job of listening. Teach me this skill and help me to take on the burden of understanding more often.

Reflect

Psalm 81:11-12; James 1:19

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With whom in your life would you like to do a better job of listening?